Self-regulation

What is self-regulation? 

Self-regulation refers to the ability to observe, manage, and adapt our emotions, thoughts and behaviours to fit different situations. It's why you go to school or work even though you don't always feel like it, or why you don't eat pizza for every meal! Developing self-regulation skills is essential for overall well-being. It allows individuals to navigate life effectively, make healthy choices, and maintain balance in various aspects of their lives. Self-regulation encompasses several aspects: behavioural self-regulation, emotional self-regulation, and cognitive self-regulation. In this guide, we will focus on emotional self-regulation. 

• We experience lots of different emotions including happiness, sadness, excitement, worry and fear. We experience these emotions in response to our thoughts and feelings and because of what is happening around us.  
• Models that can help staff to understand what is happening for CYP with regulation is the Hand Model, the Window of Tolerance or Stress Bucket. 
• Learning to manage our emotions is a skill we develop as we grow. Children need support from adults through co-regulation to develop these skills. 

Why is it important for us to consider emotional self-regulation in our schools and settings? 

Emotional self-regulation is crucially important in schools and settings for several reasons: 

1. Positive Sense of Self and Relationships: Emotional regulation skills help children and young people cope with stress, develop stronger relationships, negotiate effectively with others, and have a more positive sense of self.  
2. Mental Health and Happiness: Emotional self-regulation contributes to mental health and happiness. When children and young people can handle their emotions effectively, they experience less anxiety, frustration, and emotional distress, leading to a more positive overall well-being. 
3. Engagement and Learning: Being able to manage emotions is critical for being able to engage with learning. When children and young people can regulate their emotions, they are better equipped to focus on learning, problem-solving, and engaging in classroom activities. 
4. Promotes positive behaviours: Self-regulation involves managing thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. When children and young people can regulate their emotions, they are less likely to engage in behaviours that challenge or harm. 

Education staff play a vital role in fostering these skills by creating a supportive and emotionally responsive environment. 

What about co-regulation? 

All children and young people are likely to need support with emotional self-regulation at some point. We can do this through co-regulation.  

Co-regulation is an essential part of early child development and refers to the process where an adult or peer helps a child or young person to regulate their emotions and behaviour. Repeated experiences of adults helping the child to regulate their emotions (co-regulation) enables a child or young person to begin to develop skills in regulating their own emotions. Co-regulation is something that most family members, and education staff contribute towards, you might not even realise you are doing it!  

• Co-regulation can look different depending on the age of the child or young person and their own abilities to self-regulate. 
• In educational settings, co-regulation from staff who are highly attuned and responsive can support children and young people's self-regulation development.  
• Teaching and modelling appropriate responses to stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, or anger are vital in helping children understand how to manage their emotions and improve their relationships with peers and caregivers. Anna Freud signposts to these co-regulation activities. 
• Some children and young people have experienced limited co-regulation from an adult in their early years and may need more support with this when they attend school.  

If a child or young person is struggling to regulate, they will need an attuned adult to support them through co-regulation to further develop their own self-regulation skills. 

Why do some children and young people need more support with emotional self-regulation? 

Some children and young people might struggle with emotional self-regulation more than others. Reasons for this may include additional needs such as environmental factors e.g. feeling unsafe or uncertain about having their needs met, physical needs not being met e.g. tired or hungry, communication difficulties or neurological diagnoses, temperament or personality, lack of practice / effective strategies or past trauma. 

It can be helpful to consider Emotion Coaching as well as Dan Hughes' PACE approach when supporting children and young people. 

Self-regulation is a skill that children need to be taught and practice. It is important to get to know the whole child or young person and take steps to further understand their needs alongside offering support for regulation. 

What support is available? 

National 

Anna Freud: Anna Freud offers valuable resources related to self-regulation, particularly for younger children including 'Promoting young children's self-regulation skills through play', self-care plans for primary and secondary school aged children and young people and feelings activities. 

Just One Norfolk: Just One Norfolk provide a range of activities to support children and young people's emotional health.  

Education Endowment Fund (EEF): EEF provides approaches and practices to support self-regulation and executive function in the early years. 

The Book Trust: The BookTrust provide a list of books with a focus on helping children and young people to understand a range of feelings and emotions. 

Beacon House: Beacon House provides a variety of resources related to emotional self-regulation including Developmental Trauma resources, animations, podcasts and training titled 'Building Emotional Regulation Skills in Children & Young People'. 

Norfolk  

Just One Norfolk provide information in relation to Emotional Health. Norfolk County Council is developing a toolkit for schools and settings focused on self-regulation.

Key contacts   

If you would like any further support, please contact us inclusionandsend@norfolk.gov.uk. 

For support in early years settings, contact csearlyyearsadviceline@norfolk.gov.uk